Thursday, July 21, 2011

"It's Right There in Front of You"

It’s right There, In front of You

I am starting a new “series” of posts labeled “Right There in Front of You”.  I find that I sometimes go to great lengths looking for INTEREST.  Music, movies, travel, books or stories, all seem to have more intrigue if I have to go to some trouble discovering these adventures.  Anything that is at arm’s length doesn’t seem to get the first attention.  In fact, we as individuals are surrounded with interesting things.  I consider you folks interesting and “right here”.  All I have to do is punch a few buttons and you pop up.  That’s why I would like to share with you something a young lady in our writers’ guild   (EastTexas Writers’ Guild) has written.  Rebecca (Becca) is a 16 year old who is already a terrific writer as well as an artist/illustrator.   At this time, she has no Blog Site so I will forward any “comments” (and I know you have some comments of encouragement you would like to share).  Thanks to each of you for taking the time to encourage this young writer.

                                 Shoot On Sight

By: Rebecca Brown

Beneath the thick undergrowth I sit,deathly quiet as I await the arrival of what's left of my team. Clutching my gun––my only protection––I stare out into a seemingly empty field. I've been staring at it for some time but I know “they” are out there. They've tricked everyone else but I am not so naïve. They're out there, just waiting for me to show myself so they can take me out as well. I'll simply have to wait it out and stay here, concealed behind camouflage garments and green paint smeared across my face.
I wait and wait but no danger presents itself. I know that once I cross this field I will be safe, but if “they” are out there... I'll be lucky to make it half way.
The moments drag by as I wait for my team. Having not seen them in some time, I begin to worry. As the evening sun begins to set, I now notice shadows beginning to move in the undergrowth. I shiver as a rather large spider crawls down a nearby tree to examine me and a chill breeze pierces the warm air, chilling me to the bone. I need to get out of here. Where is my team? Have they been taken out like the others or have they found a safer way across the field? Did they go on without me? Oh, I wish I knew. If only I could get across that field.

 The eerie screech of an owl and the sharp snap of a twig set my nerves even more on edge. The light of day is almost gone. I can't afford to wait any longer. I quickly scan the area. Nothing. Standing up slowly, I carefully step around the red and yellow leaves that litter the ground. Ever so quietly, I creep out into the field. Has all this work been for nothing? My team and I spent weeks readying ourselves for this. Now, this is the end. It is all up to me.
I feel exposed out in the open field without the trees or thick bushes to hide me but still, I continue on. It is too late to turn back now. Catching a glint of light from within a group of nearby cedar trees, I break out onto a run. It must be “them”. Who else could it be? My pulse is racing. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I make a run for it. I'm almost there. Almost safe...but almost isn't good enough. Three sharp pains suddenly hit me. One in my leg, and two in my chest.
I stop dead in my tracks and look down to see a crimson colored liquid staining my camouflage jacket. I've lost.
Looking back, I see the opposing team step out into the open as they congratulate each other. Shaking the team captain's hand, I set down my paintball gun and promptly ask for a rematch. I just know I'll get them next time.


  1. This builds some nice tension. Good imagery.

    I think the tension would have been more intense if the word "they" hadn't been capitalized--for me, it was a dead give away that 'they' were not who the author wanted me to think 'they' were.

  2. ...okay, I didn't mena capitalized--I meant in quotations, lol--that's what 92 degrees in front of my computer will do...

  3. ...okay, and I meant "meant" not mena, lol--oh, the heat! I'm afraid I'v lost all credibility as a writer! :)